The 12 most outrageous fees

The convenient-for-whom fee. Companies love it when you order a ticket or register online yourself. It saves labor costs. So how do they thank you? By charging you a convenience fee, of course.

Ticketmaster, the behemoth provider of event tickets, generates its revenue from fees. The company says convenience fees, which vary, are in exchange for the convenience of 24/7 ticket buying without having to drive to a box office.

Convenience fees don't cover order processing or ticket delivery. Those costs are paid through . . . other fees.

The inconvenience fee. Of course, you can choose to drive to a location to make a transaction, as in the old days. But beware of the growing number of face-to-face fees.

Virginia legislators passed a $5 fee for drivers who renew their licenses at the Department of Motor Vehicles instead of online or through the mail, saying the fee replaced a proposed $5 increase for all licenses. Legislative aide Anne Korman says it costs the state $7 to renew a license in person, $2 by mail and $1 online.

A bonus, its sponsor says: cutting down wait times that can stretch for hours.

The you-snooze-you-lose fee. Wachovia doesn't charge its new banking customers a fee for speaking to human tellers. But it used to, and if you didn't know enough to switch accounts, you could still find a surprise in the mail. One customer noticed an $8 teller "transaction fee" and, after writing the company, learned he'd been billed $2 for each of four teller services in one month. His account allowed for two a month, but once customers go over they're charged for each.

Wachovia says original policies remain in effect until customers request a change and that they don't have the resources to contact millions of people.

For more on bank fees, see "Bank fees are more outrageous than ever" and this undercover Government Accountability Office investigation (.pdf file) into bank-fee disclosures.

What to do? Smile and fight right

Last year a Chicago consultant faked his death in an attempt to escape his cell-phone cancellation fee. (He got caught and paid the $175.) Later, a 75-year-old woman with heart trouble used a hammer to take out her frustration with Comcast. (She paid $2,500 in damages for the office equipment.)

Sadly, these strategies leave the fee machine unmoved.

Michael Shames, the executive director of the California nonprofit Utility Consumers' Action Network (UCAN), where he's dubbed the "World's Greatest Consumer," does know what works. He's gotten his own fees removed and launched lawsuits to change company practices. Even Dr. Phil calls on him for advice. (See Shames' Web site for resources.)

The problem, Shames says, is that no government agency really oversees these fees. As long as a company tells you about it, it can try to add any fee and call it what it likes.

"Often these things are large enough to rankle you but small enough not to justify spending an afternoon dealing with it," Shames said.

In the end, people see red but lose cash. Instead, do this:

• Give a clerk the power to remove the fee. Be calm and respectful. "You smile, you say, 'I don't feel happy about this fee. I'd feel much better about this transaction if you took it off,'" Shames said. "Treat them as your confidant. Tell them something about yourself. . . . More often than not, they have the discretion to do this."

• Don't ask for a manager, get indignant or turn into an act worthy of "The Jerry Springer Show." "You can put on a show, but you're not going to win anything," Shames said. "Don't put on a show; make something happen." Instead, ask for the address for headquarters and open a discussion about the problem. The clerk just might tell you what others have said. "It's a good way to get information from the clerk," Shames said, "and now you're armed."

• Use professionals. E-mail the state consumer-affairs division, or do an online search for the company and "excessive fees" to find a consumer-advocacy group working on the issue. They know how to leverage power against the company, Shames said. "At a maximum, you could force the company to not only give you your money but maybe hundreds of thousands of people their money."

• Consider filing a complaint online with the Federal Trade Commission, or call 1-877-FTC-HELP (382-4357). In a competitive marketplace, companies can charge what they like, but by law they must be upfront, including about their fees. "Even if they stated it in tiny print, that wouldn't be full disclosure. It has to be clear and conspicuous when they talk about fees," said Frank Dorman, an FTC spokesman.

• Let it go. Spend 30 minutes and move on. Any more time and the true cost of that fee skyrockets.

Published April 11, 2008

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