Thrifty ideas for happier holidays

By MP Dunleavey

Editor's note: Join columnist MP Dunleavey and a group of women as they seek to strip away the myths around money, liberate themselves from debt and find financial sanity. Follow the quest of the Women in Red every other Wednesday in Dunleavey's column on MSN Money.

Having spent several years scaling back holiday spending -- and preaching the virtues of a giftless Christmas -- I'm sick of being a Grinch.

Yes, times are tighter than Sarah Palin's skirts. But now I've realized that seasonal stress doesn't come from overspending alone. It comes from not getting enough holiday joy out of what you spend.

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That said, I would never waste the $832 that Americans say they plan to spend on the holidays this year, according to the annual survey of consumer insanity conducted by the National Retail Federation.

So, with the aim of keeping expenses low -- and getting more holiday bang for my bucks -- I begged the Women in Red to share their favorite money-saving tips on everything from shopping to wrapping to resetting the family's expectations.

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Coping with great expectations

The first budget-saving skill I recommend: communication. My family and my husband's family each have an informal holiday check-in at some point (usually around Thanksgiving). We agree on what the year's gift strategy will be -- kids only, secret Santa, etc. Peace of mind leads to peace on Earth, right?

Here's how some WIR readers handle it:

• "Two years ago we cut our gift-buying list and announced that we were only buying for our children, and that nobody should buy for us as we were not buying for them. It was awkward because a few people still bought for us, but we held firm. We really had to stretch our dollars, because with three little Santa believers it was not negotiable!"

• "Last week I asked my sister and her husband if I could buy the four of us concert tickets to the symphony as an experience gift (versus another fondue pot/tchotchke/dust collector). They said, Sure! We could pick a different Christmas concert every year. Done and done! Nothing to wrap, nothing to schlep home, and instead something we can experience together."

• "I have never made Christmas about the Stuff, and now I am especially thankful I never did. This is the last year for the tree, as my children move off into adult life and college. I hope my future Christmases will include travel, dining out, and a complete focus on BEING WITH my loved ones and loving them, instead of spending it in a kitchen."

Making giving fun

Last year my sister-in-law proposed a Yankee swap as a fun way to give. The rules: Each person spends no more than $10 (pick your limit) on a gift. When the swap starts, sit in a circle with the gifts in the center. Each person takes a turn picking a gift. If you want someone else's gift, you can take it. That person then gets another one from the pile or grabs someone else's gift. (You have to put a limit on the number of swaps.) It's unbelievably fun -- and cheap!

Ways the WIRs make gift exchanges fun:

• "This year my girlfriends and I are having a wine party instead of exchanging gifts. We're thinking each person will bring a bottle of wine, and a couple of people are assigned to bring small wine-related gifts (glasses or a decanter or something). Then we'll play wine-tasting games and the people who win will get the wine-related prizes."

• "I like giving themed-based gift boxes, like the Movie Night box I gave my sister-in-law a few years back. I got one of her favorite movies on eBay, used. Then I filled the box with microwave popcorn, Milk Duds and Junior Mints. She loved it, and I don't think the whole thing cost more than $10."

• "This year my friends are re-gifting. What started as a joke has become a tradition. We buy a small gift -- usually something we would want for ourselves -- and hope to get it back the following year or in the coming years as it makes its way around. Usually it will be an 'as seen on TV' kind of gift. This year I am hoping for the battery-operated salad dressing mixer I gave to someone."

Continued: Sticking to a holiday budget

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