Get off the spending treadmill

By MP Dunleavey

Editor's note: Join columnist MP Dunleavey and a group of women as they seek to strip away the myths around money, liberate themselves from debt and find financial sanity. Follow the ongoing quest of the Women in Red every other Wednesday in Dunleavey's column on MSN Money.

On the surface, the old cliché about "keeping up with the Joneses" seems ludicrous. Who would be insecure enough to want what someone else has, or try to keep pace with someone else's lifestyle?

Well, me for one. Maybe you, too.

Sadly, as retro and pathetic as keeping up with those mythical Joneses may seem, more people get themselves into financial hot water by coveting their neighbors' flat screen TV (hello!) or fully loaded Mini Cooper than most of us are willing to admit.

Is it possible to escape that upward spiral of competitive consumerism?

When materialism escalates

Alex Martin thinks so. In 2005, Martin, a Seattle-area choreographer, embarked on a personal challenge. She donned a simple brown dress, which she had made herself, and wore it -- nonstop -- for 365 days.

She didn't intend to make a statement about the vortex of consumption that we all know and dread. But by the time she wrapped up her "one-woman show against fashion" (you can read more at www.littlebrowndress.com), Martin had become passionate about the perils of being caught up in the "getting and spending" rat race.

"It's not just the clothes. You have to have the new cell phone, the new kitchen appliances, the home renovation," she says. "People have this idea that if they surround themselves with shiny new glitzy things, that's success. But it's not. It's stealing from your retirement, from your family, from whatever dream you have."

Constant craving

Economists have coined their own term for this cycle; they call it the "hedonic treadmill," and it works like this:

1. You really want a new PDA, dining room set, iPod, car, house or whatever.
2. Finally, after much yearning, you buy the desired item.
3. You're thrilled for about a week.
4. The thrill fades.
5. You start to feel empty and crave that emotional high, the sense of accomplishment or "being good enough."
6. So you decide that what you REALLY want is a new refrigerator, designer suit, vacation, deck…
7. And the whole thing starts all over again.

There are several factors that tend to keep people on the hedonic treadmill, and a big one is the tendency to compare your lot with others'. Some researchers have speculated that the human evolutionary drive to compete and survive lingers in our desire to "keep up" with the material acquisitions of those around us.

Another factor I've encountered, however, is the price you pay when you decide to step off the treadmill in the name of financial and emotional sanity. You may know you're making the right decision, but that doesn't mean friends and family will agree.

A year off from spending

Judith Levine, an author who lives in Brooklyn and Hardwick, Vt., discovered this particular hurdle when she took a sabbatical from consumer life, which she chronicles in her new book, "Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping." Like Martin, she and her partner undertook a yearlong personal challenge: to buy only essentials for 365 days and write about what life was like without seeing movies, going to the theater, dining out or even buying ice cream, Q-Tips or as much as a cup of coffee at a diner.

"We got pretty good at finding free things to do," she says. "We would take walks, go to the park, find free concerts, free festivals."

Friends were "intrigued" at first, Levine said. "Like a lot of people, some of them had the feeling that they would like to buy less than they do -- and it helped some to control their spending."

At the same time, she says, it was clear "some people felt there was a bit of a penalty in hanging out with us."

She remembers one friend complaining, "Oh Judith, not another walk!"

Continued: Coping with friendly fire

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