Should I pay my boyfriend's debt?

I hope so much you can help me. My husband has been disabled for years. He is on pain medication. He spends about $300 a month charging music merchandise on credit cards. There is no way he will ever be able to repay the debt. He doesn't even know I found out about the debt, which is now up to $12,000.

Here's my question: Am I responsible for any of his debt? We live in Georgia. What if he dies -- do they erase the debt? Is bankruptcy an option for him? We use his Social Security payment for our daughter's college expenses. The $12,000 he has charged up has all been done in the past two years or so. It can only get worse.

Please, please provide me any information you can. I cannot tell family or friends about this embarrassing situation. Thank you so much for any help.

The first thing I would recommend is that you communicate with your husband and let him know that you are aware of the $12,000 debt. He may be relieved that you know and be willing to work with you to stop charging additional purchases. This will help prevent the situation from getting worse. It is important that you tell him you want to help and communicate your concern for him, rather than accusing or blaming.

Next, with your husband, determine if you have any available funds to begin to pay down the $12,000 balance. If you could pay $250 a month and the interest rate on the card is 12% or less, the balance could be paid off in five years. That is, of course, if your husband commits to not making more credit card purchases.

If you don't believe you can afford that much money each month, you can consider some options: First, he could sell some of the music he has purchased. That might get him a good start on a payment plan. Second, he could contact his credit card company to see whether he qualifies for a hardship program. The program would reduce his annual interest rate and help pay off the balance with a lower monthly payment.

Another option is using student loans to pay for your daughter's college and use the Social Security payment to pay down the credit card debt. The interest on the school loan should be much lower, and payments could be deferred until she gets out of school.

Now, to your questions. Because you do not live in a community-property state, your husband's debts are his own unless the credit card is a joint account with both your names listed as cardholders. Legally, you are not responsible for debts that are in his name only, and his creditor may not contact you to collect the debt.

Should your husband die, his estate would be responsible for paying any of his outstanding debts, including the $12,000 credit card debt. Is the house or other assets in his name? If you are homeowners, be sure to have the house legally titled so that any liens, in his name, on the house will not survive him. In Rhode Island, where I live, the term is "tenants by the entirety." You should have something similar in Georgia. Check this out with an attorney.

Bankruptcy might be an option for him, but there are other issues that go along with that course of action, such as loss of self-esteem, that can lead to other problems in your marriage.

This story was reported and written by Steve Bucci for Bankrate.com.

Updated Jan. 25, 2008

< previous |  1 | 2 |