Little things that make you feel rich

Little luxuries add up

It's not that you can't or won't enjoy the simple pleasures when the economy is booming, but your internal frame of reference naturally shifts. If I could afford to go to a spa every few months, I might not find mere shampoo so uplifting.

But I should try, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and the author of "The How of Happiness."

In fact, Lyubomirsky says, paying attention to that satisfying cup of coffee, the sweetness of a hug from your kid, the delight of dipping into a new book is what real happiness is all about.

"Even temporary bursts of positive feeling in your life -- whether it's affection, pride, gratitude, excitement, curiosity -- they make us feel more creative, closer to others, more confident, more optimistic about the future," Lyubomirsky says.

These little pleasure bubbles may even boost your immune system and make you more productive, open and likable, she says.

In fact, having these positive mini-experiences can lead to upward spirals, she says.

My neighbor might start out with a boost to her mood, thanks to a glass of soda with freshly crushed ice from her very own fridge, and then go on to feel more playful with her kids -- which in turn could make her more energetic at her office, which could cause her boss to praise her . . . and so on.

Lyubomirsky believes that we can get used to the things that delight us and that the pleasure might then fade. But she also said that when you tap into some little thing that causes you to stop and feel the wealth within your life, pay attention, and cultivate it.

So, given that many of us are feeling anything but flush right now, let's revel in those "million-dollar moments" for all they are worth.

Your moments

Here, some thoughts from the Women in Red (and a few men) about what makes them feel rich.

• I feel rich when I sit at Borders and open a new book I've purchased while having a special latte from their cafe. It makes me feel warm, cozy, indulged, and gives me a sense that all is right with the world for that special time. I always leave feeling rejuvenated. -- "NewLease"

• I have a tiny bottle of Lancome Miracle, and on weekend mornings, I dab some on. I may be dusting and scrubbing, washing dishes and clothes, but the nose knows. That scent belongs to a gracious lady, no matter how she disguises herself. -- "RaggsinBrooklyn"

• Our pastor called last week asking if I still had a breast pump from when we had our last son. Yes, I still had it, a $300 Medela model, unopened because I already owned one. Turns out a friend of the pastor's was pregnant and the family was very low on funds. She asked if I would be interested in donating it to this family. Without hesitation I said YES. Apparently when the woman saw that it was a Medela, she started crying. She never dreamed she could ever have something so great! That made me feel rich AND blessed. -- "Working With Little"

• Given that my husband and I are historic re-enactors, we can actually live without a lot -- like electricity. I feel sorry for people who say they can't live without cable or cell phones because we can (and do) live without such things. We have more money because we're not spending it on those bills every month, so we are richer literally as well as figuratively. -- Keriamon

• "Mine is pretty simple -- having coffee that I didn't make at home. Buying coffee anywhere, even McDonald's drive-thru, makes me feel so fancy for some reason, and meeting a friend for a coffee date makes me feel like a Real Housewife from the cable show." -- "Jess H"

• Being debt free and saving big piles of money every month for a house. Living the pauper lifestyle is worth it! -- "Constance27"

• I feel rich when I see someone smile and say my name, when someone puts their arm around me in a loving way, and when I can just sit and visit with someone I enjoy. Seeing pretty flowers, vegetables, and speckled pups make me smile. I sure do enjoy petting a nice dog. -- "Hootieman"

• Post your own: "What makes you feel rich?

Join columnist MP Dunleavey and a group of women as they seek to strip away the myths around money, liberate themselves from debt and find financial sanity. Follow the continuing quest of the Women in Red every other Wednesday.

Published Feb. 25, 2009

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