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Take a break. Pay attention to your body, Gottfurcht advises, and do something to break the cycle of tension. If your heart is racing, your breathing is shallow and your shoulders are somewhere up around your ears, you can:
- Take some deep breaths.
- Get some aerobic exercise.
- Practice yoga.
- Take a hot bath or shower.
- Get a little sunshine.
- Laugh (hang out with funny friends or watch a comedy on DVD, for example).
"These are all things that help physiologically," Gottfurcht said, "to interrupt that bodily tension."
Regular exercise, a good diet, a decent amount of sleep and time spent with supportive family and friends are also important, he said, to staying on an even keel.
Have a plan. An actual financial strategy, including asset allocations for your investments and a plan to pay down debt or build up savings, can give you a sense of security in an insecure world.
If your net worth has dropped because stocks are down or housing's in a slump, you may feel some relief if you find ways to save a little more or knock down some debt.
Kessel also recommends that guardian types set some kind of "then I'll worry" limit to help them manage fear.
"If you just say, 'You're going to be fine,' they don't believe a word of it," Kessel said. "Someone needs to set the limit so that they know, 'You're going to be fine until this happens.'"
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Let's say you're retired with a $750,000 portfolio from which you draw $2,000 a month. That's a sustainable withdrawal rate until your portfolio drops to $500,000, Kessel said. "That's when you'll know you need to start scaling back your lifestyle, earning some extra money."
Need help setting limits or coming up with a plan? A fee-only financial planner can help, and you can get referrals from the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors or the Garrett Planning Network.
Write down your fears -- and your solutions. Money therapist Mellan regularly recommends this exercise to what she calls "worriers": the ones who constantly fear worst-case scenarios. Go ahead, she said, and write down your deepest anxieties about what may happen -- and then write about what you would do next.
Let's say you're worried you'll lose your job, that you'll fall behind on your mortgage or rent and you'll lose your home. Then what would you do?
Perhaps you could move in with a family member. No, it wouldn't be ideal, and it probably would be cramped, but you wouldn't be on the street. Then think about what you could do for money while you looked for your next job. Maybe you could fall back on skills you used in a former job or start a small business.
The details aren't important. What's essential in this exercise is realizing that you have resources and options for dealing with catastrophes, should they actually happen.
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When to worry and when to let goHere's how to control your worries about job security, money, relationships and your health.
Get help. Figuring out why you respond to money the way you do can help you respond more calmly and stop self-destructive behaviors.
There are plenty of self-help options. Kessel offers a quiz on his Web site to help you identify your financial type, plus exercises in his book for pinpointing and counteracting what he calls your "core story," or deepest-held beliefs about money.
But some beliefs are so ingrained or responses so destructive that professional psychological help might be warranted. People who are prone to debilitating panic attacks, uncontrollable spending, gambling binges or other serious disorders may need to seek out a therapist to get to the root of their troubles.
Updated April 3, 2008
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