Your guide to holiday tipping

By Liz Pulliam Weston

Many of us plan to spend less this holiday season. But far more of us plan to skimp on ourselves than intend to cut back on holiday tips for service providers.

Eighty-four percent of the 1,900 U.S. residents recently polled by Consumer Reports said they planned to buy less for themselves, while 40% said they'd buy fewer gifts for friends and 30% intended to trim their end-of-the-year gratuities.

To me, that's heartening. The definition of thrift is economizing at your own expense. The definition of miserliness is economizing at someone else's expense, which is what skipping holiday tips could easily be.

• Tell us: Whom are you tipping this holiday, and how much?

After all, end-of-the-year gratuities can show these folks that you appreciate the work they do for you and thank them for helping your life run more smoothly. This extra cash may help foster loyalty and, in a few instances, prevent future problems (like a building superintendent who might become sulky).

Of course, sometimes budgets are too tight to tip everyone who might be expecting a gratuity this season.

Who gets tipped at the holidays:

	% who gave anything	Average gift*
Cleaning person	65%	$50
Child's teacher	59%	$20
Hairdresser	56%	$20
Child care provider	52%	$38
Manicurist	51%	$20
Newspaper carrier	45%	$20
Barber	40%	$15
Building superintendent	33%	$25
Pet care provider	30%	$25
Mail carrier	29%	$20
Lawn care worker	28%	$25
School bus driver	26%	$15
Fitness instructor	22%	$25
Sanitation worker	14%	$20

*Cash tip or value of noncash gift
Source: Consumer Reports

Indeed, no less an etiquette expert than Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute confirms that holiday tipping, and gift giving in general, "isn't about going into debt." If your budget won't stretch, it won't stretch.

But that doesn't release you from your obligation to acknowledge good service.

Post recommends that in situations where a holiday tip would be expected, the financially challenged compose a handwritten thank-you note and include with it some kind of seasonal gesture, like a plate of holiday cookies. Superb service might prompt a praise-filled letter to the worker's supervisor.

Consumer Reports has an additional suggestion: When money is tight, focus your cash tips on those who need it the most. If your housecleaner is supporting a family on a thin income and your hairdresser jets off to the Caribbean every year, it's OK to give the former a nice cash tip and the latter a nice card with perhaps a small gift.

Who shouldn't expect a tip

You'll be relieved to know there are people who aren't expecting cash from you. That doesn't mean you can ignore them, though; it just means your gift shouldn't be green. These people include:

• Teachers. Professionals in general shouldn't be tipped, and teachers typically include themselves in this category. Ask what classroom supplies they need, and supply them. Gifts of food or a well-deserved day at a spa (perhaps purchased jointly with other parents) can be thoughtful, as well.

• Friends. Whatever the service they provided for you, a gift is a more appropriate thank-you than a check.

• Postal Service employees. The post office discourages cash tips, but your mail carrier is allowed to accept gifts worth less than $20.

• Anyone who would be insulted. You'll have to feel your way on this one a bit, since some of the people you traditionally didn't tip -- a beauty salon owner, for example -- now often have no problem accepting your money. If you offer the cash and it's returned to you promptly, you'll know you've found one of these elusive folks.

The ground rules for tipping

How much you give, Emily Post and other etiquette authorities tell us, can depend on a number of factors, such as:

• The quality of the service.

• The frequency of the service.

• How long you've used the service.

• Regional custom.

• Your budget.

Use your own judgment, but be guided by the spirit of generosity. The better you take care of the people who care for you, the better off everybody will be.

Now that we've got that settled, let's move on to whom and how much. The "whoms" break down into four basic categories.

Continued: 4 basic categories

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