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What the rich teach their kids

They actually hope their kids learn that some things are more valuable than money. Here's what wealthy parents hope their kids end up with.

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By Abby Ellin

Manhattan filmmaker Jamie Johnson's two films -- "Born Rich" and "The One Percent" -- explore the lives of the ultrawealthy. Johnson, 28, has spent pretty much his entire life thinking about money, and with good reason: He's an heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune. Talking money with Jamie Johnson

Not that he knew that when he was a child. Although he says he was always aware that his family had some money, he didn't realize just how much until an elementary school classmate found his father's name on the Forbes 400 list. "I was surprised that we had such vast wealth," he admits. What the richest kids tell him

Such "vast wealth" is becoming even more concentrated in the hands of families such as Johnson's, as the richest 1% continues to pull away from other Americans.

The figures are eye-popping: The number of families with a net worth of more than $5 million is projected to grow by more than 27% between 2001 and 2010, according to the Federal Reserve Board's Survey of Consumer Finances. And most millionaires plan to leave at least 75% of their estates to their children, according to Prince & Associates, a wealth-research firm in Redding, Conn.

So it's worth asking: What kind of financial values are these überwealthy passing down to the next generation?

It's not what you might think, actually, despite media images of over-indulged, free-spending teens on popular TV shows such as "My Super Sweet 16" and "Gossip Girl."

In truth, most megarich parents say they are working hard to teach their children to value philanthropy, cultural experiences and other personally enriching activities above material goods, according to a 2007 American Express Platinum Luxury Survey of about 1,100 U.S. parents with average net worth of around $4.3 million.

Ninety-one percent of parents surveyed indicated they had encouraged their children to participate in charitable or philanthropic activities; almost two-thirds of children had donated a part of their own money to charity. About 45% of the respondents' children had part-time jobs, and close to half did not receive an allowance. When parents spent money, they typically did it on experiences such as travel and not on material goods.

"The affluent in this country are good savers, not spenders," says Ron Kurtz, the founder of the American Affluence Research Center in Alpharetta, Ga., which conducted the survey on behalf of American Express. "Some are ostentatious, but they're not the norm."

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Troy Dunn didn't grow up rich -- his father was a school teacher, and money "didn't grow on trees" -- but at an early age, Troy learned how to shake it out of the foliage. After college, Dunn founded a company called BigHugs.com, which reunited estranged families. He sold it for many, many millions -- and soon, money was ripe for the picking.

It would have been easy to give his children the luxuries he missed out on. "The path of least resistance is to fill their wants," says Dunn, 41, who lives in Fort Myers, Fla. Advice from a millionaire dad

But that's not how things were going to work in the Dunn household. For starters, his seven kids, ages 3 to 16, do not get allowances. Instead, they have to work for their money -- not by doing chores around the house ("Why should they get money to be a productive member of the household?" Dunn asks) but by starting their own businesses.

His 6-year-old son, for example, bakes and sells cookies and makes $85 an hour, his father says. His 13-year-old son, Trestan, runs a video-production company. His kids are not always thrilled with the idea of working for their supper, but they understand their dad's reasoning.

"Sometimes I wish they gave me money," Trestan says of his parents, "but I know I need to (work) because it will help my future."

Many wealthy parents coddle their kids, says Dunn, the author of "Young Bucks: How to Raise a Future Millionaire." An allowance is "a horrible thing," he says. "All you're really doing is giving them free money, and people do things differently with free money than with money they earn.

"Parents of the wealthy should be scared," Dunn continues. "We think our job as parents is to give our kids more than we had growing up. They end up (with) this entitlement mentality: 'Everything comes to me because I come from a family of money.' Well, everything should come to them because they developed their own passions and skill sets."

Financial wizards say that when it comes to raising rich kids, family attitudes will win out in the end. Take Donald Trump's family, for example.

"He has been very strict in the structure he created for them," says Robert T. Kiyosaki, a Trump family friend and co-author of "Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids -- That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not."

"He really wanted them to pursue an education, and they had to get started in the business pretty much from scratch. There were very high expectations about their level of responsibility and what they needed to do. You can see a huge difference between the Trump

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kids and someone else who parties."

Johnson, too, credits his family for instilling his values, particularly his mother.

"She didn't take things for granted," he says, adding that she required him to do volunteer work as a young child, never gave him an allowance and expected him to do well in school.

"I know some kids who were born rich who were never expected to do any of their schoolwork, and their parents didn't care what their report card said," Johnson says. "My parents weren't particularly strict, but they were insistent on the fact that I do fairly well in school." As for a career choice, they had this advice: "Do something you find fulfilling or meaningful."

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Published May 26, 2008

Produced by Elizabeth Daza

Graphics by Joe Farro