By Abby Ellin, MSN MoneyWhen you think of the offspring of the megarich, you probably think of them as spoiled, entitled, attention-seeking and insecure. You think of decadent dilettantes, tabloid headlines and, well, Paris Hilton.
That is why it's such a pleasant surprise to sit down with Ivanka Trump, the elegant, erudite, 27-year-old daughter of Donald and Ivana -- and the executive vice president of acquisition and development for the Trump Organization, as her family's company is known. 
See Ivanka at work in sky-high Trump Tower
"I always knew that I was going to work for my father," she says. "This actually caused me some anxiety in college because when my friends were panicking about what they were going to do with their lives, I already knew. And I wondered: Maybe I'm not looking at all the options available to me? But I've always loved real estate."
Ivanka and her brothers, Donald Jr. and Eric, aren't altogether anomalous. The truth is that many, if not most, young scions of wealth and privilege have better things to do than simply party their lives away. Ivanka in 'Born Rich': 'I'm proud to be a Trump'
But in seeing the very public examples that Ivanka and her brothers are setting, we wonder: Is there something The Donald has to teach all of us about how to raise children with solid values, practical attitudes toward money and a respect for hard work?
Both Donald and Ivana Trump have spoken publicly about their conscious efforts to teach their kids the value of hard work. "Be an example," Donald Trump told Momlogic.com last year. "Children watch -- and they will emulate what they see."
Among Trump's other tips: "Set the standard high. Challenge is good, and accomplishment creates healthy self-respect. Stress the importance of education; it's the foundation for success. (And let) them know they are exceptional, so exceptional results are expected."
Ivana Trump told New York magazine a few years back that making her kids work "was really important."
"I see so many kids which are my friends' children -- really good friends -- and they're so messed up," she continued. "They drink, they're on the drugs, they don't want to work, they have no ambition. They get all the money in the world. Why should they get up before 11 o'clock? They're real losers."
"Loser" is certainly not a word anyone would apply to Ivanka Trump. Besides being just so pretty -- there's a reason she did a stint years ago as a model -- she's charming and articulate. And smart: She graduated summa cum laude from the Wharton School of Business.
She credits her parents with teaching her the rewards of working hard: "My parents very cognizantly created a disconnect . . . and said when you're with us, you can ride in our private plane, you can stay in our house, but if you want this lifestyle for yourself, we're not going to buy you a Mar-a-Lago when you turn 25 so you can have a winter retreat. You're going to have to work for it, and we're going to show you how because we worked that hard."
Indeed, Ivanka personifies the Trump family brand of ambition. Though still in her 20s, she has a commanding presence, partly because of her height (she is 5 feet 11) but more because of her demeanor. This is someone who clearly grew up with wealth, who knows she's had a lot of opportunities, but does not seem entitled. Nor does she expect handouts.
"My parents let us know that we would have to earn things on our own," she says. "We knew we were privileged, but it's not like we could use their private plane without them. They let us know not to expect everything handed to us."
After college, Ivanka took a job as a project manager in the retail-development division of Forest City Ratner, owned by New York developer Bruce Ratner.
Then in 2005, she joined her father's company, helping to launch the Trump Hotel Collection, which includes the Trump International Hotel & Tower New York and the newly opened Trump International Hotel & Tower Chicago and Trump International Hotel Las Vegas. (Next up: locations in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., New York's SoHo neighborhood and Honolulu's Waikiki.)
Her responsibilities include business deals, construction, interior design, marketing, sales and leasing. She's currently involved in 70 projects around the world. And in 2007, she opened the Ivanka Trump boutique, a shop on New York's Madison Avenue that features a line of diamond jewelry for women with varying wallet sizes.
The younger Trumps are hardly the only New York heirs working hard to carry on the family name and grow the family business. Just look at Dylan Lauren, the daughter of Ralph Lauren and a co-founder of Dylan's Candy Bar, a chain of four high-end candy stores. Or makeup heiress Aerin Lauder Zinterhofer, the daughter of Ronald Lauder and a senior vice president at the company her grandmother Estée Lauder founded.
Indeed, a 2006 poll by PNC Wealth Management (.pdf file) countered the common perception of wealthy teens. The survey of 210 affluent offspring indicated that 80% were willing to work for what they wanted to purchase, and more than half said they didn't believe they deserved to be rich simply because of their parents' wealth.
"Even if these teens were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, they don't expect life to be handed to them on a silver platter," Bruce Bickel, a PNC senior vice president who provides financial counseling to families, said in a company news release. "We see a generation of wealthy young people who are generally well-grounded, willing to work hard and see eye to eye with their parents on important values like education and earning a living."
Mina N. Sirkin, a family-wealth attorney in Los Angeles who works with high-net-worth individuals, says that when rich kids grow up with good values, the "universal theme is discipline."
"The difference is (between) the überrich who enforce discipline and those who don't," she says. "Trump had a wife who was totally on top of her kids and raised them with discipline according to her European parenting values. Paris (Hilton), on the other hand, was given latitude to do what she pleased by her parents. Needless to say, her bad acts are publicity stunts, and her father books her. She is booked for $100,000 to appear at Las Vegas parties. Need I say more?"
Ken Clark, 34, knows a bit about growing up with money. A certified financial planner and psychotherapist in Little Rock, Ark., Clark specializes in the complex overlap of wealth, psychology and family dynamics. His grandfather was E.H. Clark Jr., who served as CEO of Baker Hughes, a Fortune 500 company, from 1965 until the mid-1980s; his father was a wealth manager and vice president with UBS.
Clark believes there are a number of factors that contribute to the relationships between wealthy parents and productive, business-embracing children. (It should be noted that he sees the same traits in many middle- and lower-class parents raising children with strong work ethics.)
"The healthiest of the wealthiest have a respect for what it took for the family to get to where they are," Clark says. "There's a gravity to the family's wealth. There's not just the acknowledgement but also the deep, internalized recognition that a family's wealth involved some kind of awe-inspiring journey."
It's the kids who don't understand this, he says, who don't do proper justice to the family legacy. Instead of seeing themselves as "just another chapter in the book," they see themselves only as a separate story line that began the day they were born.
He believes it's important for children of wealthy parents to start their journeys in the mailroom. "The ripples from the experience of working your way up, even if the results are guaranteed, are profound. Often, it connects the child with the family or parental roots and journey. . . . It also gives them a healthy respect for how hard most other people have to work and keeps them connected with how their behavior, in and out of the boardroom, will affect those whose livelihoods may depend on their leadership."
Finally, Clark says, it's important to downplay the sense of entitlement. "The moment that a child begins to believe that they deserve their wealth is the moment where things will begin to go downhill. . . . The unhealthy, unproductive progeny of the wealthy are the ones who begin to believe their own press."
According to the PNC study, which also polled 272 affluent parents of children under age 18, 90% of the parents believed it's important for children to learn the value of money through hard work.
Ivanka Trump, who is writing a book (to be released in October) about what she has learned about business and life over the years, says most of her wealthy friends aren't irresponsibly squandering their parents' money and dancing on tables in smoky bars. "When you're working hard and waking up at 6 a.m., it's not possible to stay out until 2 a.m. on a Wednesday night."
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Produced by Elizabeth Daza
Published March 20, 2009
