HighThe middle-aged owner of a successful software company frets over buying a couch. A single mother, anguished by her $25,000 in credit card debt, is unwilling to say no to her 16-year-old son's plea for a new car. A young fashion designer is so ashamed of her substantial inheritance that she lives in an unsafe neighborhood so she can afford the rent on her salary alone.
Many people find themselves stuck in an illogical pattern with money, regardless of whose advice they follow or how much time goes by. I wrote "It's Not About the Money" to find out why.
The answer is what I call a person's money makeup -- a powerful set of ideas, formed early in life, that govern spending, giving and investment decisions. And understanding these forces is the key to changing bad financial behaviors for good.
Guess these strangers' money personality
Although there's no denying that in many ways it is easier to be rich than poor, everyone struggles with some aspects of their relationship to money. That's the No. 1 lesson I've learned in running Abacus, a financial-planning and money-management company, for more than a decade.
Don't get me wrong. I am by no means saying that you can't be both wealthy and happy. But whether you have a seven-figure trust fund or a pile of unpaid bills on your kitchen table, your path to freedom requires that you focus first on your inner relationship with money and then on your outer financial circumstances.
That's because our early experiences with money cause us to cling unconsciously to specific strategies to feel secure and happy about our financial decisions. But they are not always the best options. If you want to make lasting changes in your relationship to money, you must first understand your money personality.
In working with people from all financial walks of life, I've noticed great similarities among certain groups. So I've created eight broad categories and definitions for those groups:
1. The Guardian is always alert and careful.
2. The Pleasure Seeker prioritizes pleasure and enjoyment in the here and now.
3. The Idealist places the greatest value on creativity, compassion, social justice or spiritual growth.
4. The Saver seeks security and abundance by accumulating more financial assets.
5. The Star spends, invests or gives away money to be recognized, feel hip or classy and increase self-esteem.
6. The Innocent avoids paying significant attention to money, believing (or hoping) that life will work out for the best.
7. The Caretaker gives and lends money to express