I can't help but wonder what my life would be like if I'd met Janis Spindel six years ago.
I might be writing this story from my third or fourth home somewhere in the south of France, or maybe I'd be on sabbatical from my journalism career in order to pursue my real passion, napping. I'd almost certainly be married to an insanely successful man -- probably a multimillionaire business owner with looks, a stunning personality and a deep and abiding commitment to our marriage.
All this could have been mine, provided Spindel found me worthy six years ago.
Spindel is one of the most expensive and prolific high-end matchmakers in the country. From her home base in New York City (she conducts match searches nationally), she works only with high-net-worth men who are willing to pay her $25,000 to $100,000 for her help in brokering a committed relationship with a beautiful, highly intelligent, successful, physically fit -- read "skinny" -- woman. And she gets a negotiable marriage bonus when her matches click for life. (Women pay only a small fee to be evaluated, or nothing if Spindel recruits them herself.) 
Video: Men who should "get a grip"
Matchmaking, it turns out, has come a long way since "Fiddler on the Roof." Today's upscale Yentes serve as a high-price alternative to Nerve.com and eHarmony, offering a wide range of services and proving once again that even if money can't buy love, it sure can pave the way to a wedding day.
Spindel's clients are some of the most eligible -- read "rich" -- bachelors in all the land, so you might wonder why they feel the need to drop huge coin for matchmaking services. But for men who are used to paying big bucks for the best restaurants, the best watches and the best sports cars, it makes sense to spend real money to get the best wife possible. Video: Would you pay for a matchmaker?
"The reason men hire me is that I'm not a dating service," says Spindel, owner of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking. "I get men married within a year to a very special woman they never would have met on their own.
"Anyone can get dates," she adds. "They come to me to meet three or four potential wives. They don't want to do the legwork. They want me to do the editing for them." Video: "I can't afford negative blind dates"
Spindel takes only male clients because she has found that female clients are too picky and often overestimate their "marketability" -- something she calls Magic Mirror Syndrome.
"Confidence is a big turn-on to men and women," she says, "but to be delusionally confident is a scary thing."
As for the men, the wealthier they are, the higher (and more unrealistic) their expectations for a match, especially with regard to a woman's physical attributes -- one of her clients has his heart set on meeting supermodel Elle McPherson. And higher expectations mean much bigger disappointments, so she must occasionally talk clients down to earth.
Amy Andersen, founder of Linx Dating in Palo Alto, Calif., specializes in matching male clients from Silicon Valley with female clients from San Francisco. For between $5,000 and $8,500, she'll not only make the match, but also provide a wardrobe consultation and concierge service, and hook a client up with a personal trainer, a dermatologist and any other service provider she feels the client may need to present his (or her) best self.
Andersen has learned that although a person's core qualities are key to a happy relationship, you have to make a good impression first. And her Silicon Valley clientele -- a breed celebrated as workaholic nerds -- often need help in the "first impression" department.
Samantha Daniels, a former divorce attorney who owns Samantha's Table, charges clients $15,000 and up for 12 or more introductions a year. The inspiration for the 2003 NBC sitcom "Miss Match," starring Alicia Silverstone, Daniels also just wrote "Matchbook: Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker."
Her clients, located nationwide but based largely in Los Angeles and New York, pay an initial consultation fee of $450. So far, she's tallied 73 marriages since starting her business seven years ago.
Her trick? "My theory behind setting people up is that they have to have similar energies and the same kind of thought process. I ask myself, do I see these two people laughing at the same jokes in 15 years and finding the same stuff annoying?"
Daniels knows that core qualities, not cash, are what make couples click for good. Video: Quality, not quantity
Andersen, at Linx, says that the most important lesson she's learned as a matchmaker is the one that netted her an engagement ring. After dating a series of players in San Francisco, she realized she wasn't meeting the type of man that she wanted to marry. Her Silicon Valley clients were of very high quality, but she was ethically barred from dating any of them. So she moved to Silicon Valley to immerse herself in the dating pool. She met a man through friends and, nine months later, had a wedding to plan.
"I love telling that story to my clients," Andersen says. "It shows them if you're in a rut, it's OK to be proactive to find love," she says. "I'm living proof."
Published May 12, 2008
High