Does Johnny really need a cell phone?

You shouldn't have to take a second job to pay for your kids' phone bills, music or high-tech games. Here are some tips on holding the line:

Comparison-shop

Check price plans online before you go phone shopping, says Matheson, who found a better deal on the Internet after signing a contract at a carrier's brick-and-mortar store.

Consider different service levels, options and charges for extra minutes and services. For example, Sprint offers a variety of voice, text, Web and other plans, company spokeswoman Emmy Anderson says.

There are two schools of thought on texting. One is that kids are going to send hundreds, even thousands of text messages anyway, so you might as well get unlimited texting. On the other hand, do you really want your child sending that many text messages?

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"One relative of mine sent 6,000 text messages the first month she had a cell phone," Hicks says. "If you send that many text messages, you're spending way too much time texting."

After you choose a plan, you can also check online to find out what parental control features your carrier has. If your carrier isn't listed, options listed by the other carriers will at least give you topics for conversation.

"Carriers are offering tools to help parents encourage responsible cell phone use as well as protect kids from questionable content," says Shannon Nix, a spokeswoman for CTIA-The Wireless Association.

Set expectations, then check up

Phones are all about communication, so discuss your expectations about texting, minutes used, downloads and other issues with your child before handing over a phone.

"Talk to the child before getting the phone, about how you expect them to use the features, what you will or won't be allowing," Anderson says. "But sometimes that discussion comes after they get the first bill."

Then, check up on your child. "You can dial in and check, log in and check or do it right on the phone itself," Anderson says. "If your child hasn't had a cell phone before, checking on how the phone is used is a very good idea."

Determine an age limit

Set an age or school grade for when your child can get a cell phone. At $20 a month, that's an extra $240 in your savings account every year that you delay. In Hicks' family, each child gets a cell phone the summer before freshman year of high school.

"I don't want a cell phone that lands in my wash," she says. "That's where a sixth-grader's cell phone goes."

Blinkoff advocates waiting as long as possible. "There's no need for the kids to have the things they have at the ages they have them," he says.

Limit use by paying in advance. "Get a pay-as-you-go phone, not one that is on anybody's family plan," says a wiser Ellen. "Once you run out of those minutes, they're gone. I don't think kids today see things as being 'gone.' They think: 'We can go buy some more. We can get unlimited.' That's sending the wrong message -- that everything is free."

Make them pay

Clear up that everything-is-free idea and be frank about costs.

"My kids used to say, 'But the cell phone is free,'" Hicks says. "They were truly surprised that I had to sign a contract and pay every month. We can't put our kids in a bubble and have them not know about the costs of things."

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Have your child foot the bills for any extras, whether cell phone minutes or games or designer clothes. For some reason, $20 of a child's own money is worth more than $20 out of Mom's or Dad's wallet.

"Allowance really does help," Jalajas says. "I'll say, 'That will cost 20 weeks of allowance.' My policy is, I'm your mother, and I will provide you with everything you need -- food, clothes, a home. Anything above and beyond that, which includes video games, you'll pay for yourself."

Buy pre-loved items

Jalajas' son, who used to insist on all-new books and games, now realizes he can buy a used computer game for $10 or the same game, new, for $35. The Mathesons also shop for used games for their Nintendo Wii, often trading in old ones for credit.

"It's a rarity we'll buy a brand-new game," Diane Matheson says.

A friend in deed

Friends can make a difference in encouraging or curbing materialism. One of Jalajas' son's friends is an only child with a nice bedroom, a cell phone, an iPod, a big-screen TV in the basement and more.

"He comes home and says, 'How come I have to share a room with my brother?'" Jalajas says.

But a new friend has made Jalajas' son more appreciative of what he has. "He came home and said, 'Do you know he has to share a room with his three sisters?'" she says. "We need more of those friends."

This article was reported and written by Karen Haywood Queen for Bankrate.com.

Published Oct. 17, 2008

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