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Pick someone "for now." It's OK to have a "placekeeper" guardian, somebody who'll do in a pinch or whom you fully plan to replace eventually. Children and relationships change, and you can alter your will later to name someone else.
Get your candidate's OK. Guardianship is too big a responsibility to spring on somebody, so make sure the person you want actually wants to serve. It's generally smart to pick just one person as primary guardian rather than a couple; the pair could split up, or one member could die, complicating your estate plan.
Have a backup. That said, there's nothing wrong with identifying the second half of a couple as the backup guardian, if you'd be pleased to have him or her take over in case the spouse you named as the primary guardian was dead or couldn't serve for whatever reason. If you really don't want your brother-in-law to have the kids should your sister die, though, identify someone else as the backup.
Keep the money separate. Occasionally, there are folks who are great with money and great with kids, but the skill sets don't necessarily go together. It's perfectly acceptable, and often preferred, to choose someone other than the guardian as trustee of the kids' assets (any money, property and life insurance proceeds they'll inherit should you die).
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Choosing separate people for these different functions puts a check-and-balance system in place because there's at least one other person monitoring how your kids' money is spent.
Also, realizing that the money person can be separate from the "parent" person may be all it takes to break through an impasse with your spouse, said Los Angeles estate attorney Jon Gallo, a co-author of "The Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps to Raising Successful, Generous, Responsible Children."
"Most of the arguments (stem from) a lack of understanding of the two functions," Gallo said.
Once you've settled on a guardian and a trustee, an attorney can guide you through the rest of the process. A simple will can cost as little as $200 to $300, although a more complex estate plan will be pricier. You can even do it yourself, using software such as Quicken Willmaker or LegalZoom's service.
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Picking a guardianAsk someone who shares your values and circumstances, and make it official with a will.
But if your net worth is high or your situation is complex -- say, you have contentious relatives who may contest the will or children from more than one marriage -- you probably should get a professional estate planner's help. Make the appointment today.
Updated Sept. 24, 2008
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