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Expectant parents are often stunned at how expensive setting up a nursery can be. Parents of teens have news for them: You ain't seen nothin' yet.
It's not that adolescents spend all their time figuring out ways to cost their parents money (despite substantial evidence to the contrary). It's that their growing bodies, minds, interests and need for independence almost inevitably lead to bigger bills. Combine that with a notorious lack of judgment -- which produces its own expenses, from fender-benders on up -- and you can face a serious strain on your budget.
One poster on the Your Money message board listed the following expenses for a 14-year-old boy:
- Academic coaching: $35 a term
- Sports/band: $150 a term
- Kumon, an after-school tutoring program: $90 a month
- Orthodontia: $120 a month
- Music lessons: $75 a month
- Instrument rental: $50 a month
- After-school snacks: $50 a month.
- Extra groceries: $400 a month.
- Scout "gear" and activities: $125 a month
- Health club fees: $50 a month.
- Health insurance co-pays: $15 a month average.
- Clothes: $50 a month.
In other words, a fairly average teen is costing about $1,000 a month -- and that's before he's old enough to drive.
Parents who have survived their kids' teen years say there are some ways to contain the costs, and even ways to impart a few lessons about money to their offspring along the way. But as with other aspects of raising an adolescent, the watchword is: Be prepared to be surprised.
Here are some of the areas where you can anticipate extra costs, along with some thoughts on how to cope.
Growing bodies, big bills
The pleading for brand-name clothes probably won't be new, since fashion consciousness tends to develop in elementary school these days. But add in growth spurts, and the results can be expensive.Los Angeles parent Suzanne Lawrence buys her son new shoes as often as every four months, as the 6-foot-tall 16-year-old keeps growing.
"And we're not talking $150 Air Jordans," Lawrence said. "It's still expensive."
Then there's the food that fuels that growth. Lawrence's son routinely eats 12 slices of French toast at a sitting. One Your Money poster who shares custody of two teen boys, 14 and 17, notices her grocery bill shoots up at least $400 a month when they're in residence.
"(They're) built like sticks and can eat nonstop if they're allowed to, growing an average of an inch every other month," she wrote. "I know this can't go on forever … can it?? The 17-year-old is slowing down (and is) just over 6 ft. 1 in. now, but the 14-year-old is kicking in gear and running long distance in track."
It's not just boys. Your Money poster Blonette said her 13-year-old daughter's clothing costs have doubled since she left behind child sizes.
Another mom, Patricia1122, wrote that she pays about $100 a month for acne treatments. Then there's the cost of her daughter's birth control pills "for cramps -- that's her story and I'm sticking to it," she posted. "The pills are cheap, but the doctor's visits are steep."
As parents, you're responsible for your child's basic food, clothing and health care, but there are ways to contain or share the expenses.
Rather than constantly battle over clothing costs, for example, some parents provide "matching funds" -- they figure out how much they're willing to pay for an item, and the kids are expected to come up the extra money if what they want is more expensive.
Other parents choose a lump-sum approach. They calculate how much they would otherwise spend in a semester or a year on clothing and personal items, then they give their kids that amount in cash. When the money's gone, it's gone -- which can help teach responsibility. Some parents eventually have their teens handle all their own expenses.
The high cost of activities and gear
Your kid gets tapped for the football team -- and you get tapped for equipment, plus $200 to $800 for the varsity jacket. Or she's in the band, and you wind up paying for the instrument rental, uniform and overnight trips for the state competition. Field trips and class activities routinely cost parents $200 to $300 extra each year, and up. The yearbook might be another $50 to $75. Then there are dance lessons and music lessons ($50 to $200 a month) and summer leagues."My husband coaches high school baseball," said Your Money poster RecMeAmadeus. "The summer league he's currently coaching costs each kid $375, while the rival high school's program is $1,000. Ouch!"
Some special activities, like proms, are notorious for their growing cost. Expenditures of more than $1,000 per couple aren't uncommon.
Finally, there's all the electronic gear that supports teens in their social and academic endeavors, from cell phones to computers to game consoles.
Again, parents are ultimately responsible for setting limits on how much they'll spend, and having a teen share at least some of the cost can teach some important lessons.
Psychotherapist Eileen Gallo, co-author with her husband Jon of the book "The Financially Intelligent Parent," related how one of her friend's children developed a sudden -- and expensive -- interest in rock climbing.
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