Raising grandkids? You have options

In addition, most state social services departments issue child-only grants, typically around $200 per month and funded through Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, or TANF, that do not consider the grandparents' income when determining eligibility. In addition, children whose parents are deceased, as well as those who meet other conditions, may be eligible to receive a monthly stipend through Social Security.

Get respite from local clubs

Grandparent caregivers who need someone to watch their grandchildren for a few hours after school until they get off work can turn to local organizations, such as the Boys & Girls Clubs of America or the YMCA, for low-cost options.

If you feel hesitant about tapping federal or local resources because you think you have enough money to get by without help, double-check your math before you pass up the assistance. "In today's age, you might think that you're financially independent, but it depends on how you model your retirement," says Call. "Even if you're worth several million dollars, it may not cover you, depending on your lifestyle and how long you live."

• Talk back: How do I teach my grandson to save?

Still uneasy? Consider investing any financial assistance you get into a 529 plan to help offset the cost of your grandchildren's college education.

Consider college costs

Even if the grandchildren's day-to-day living expenses don't affect your budget much, it's easy to get in over your head when you tack on the cost of college. Proceed with caution before you tap your nest egg to foot the bill.

"You can finance college, but you can't necessarily finance your retirement," says Frank X. Addonizio, a financial adviser for Ameriprise Financial Services. "Don't feel guilty if you can't cover the full bill."

Fortunately, your grandchildren have numerous options for reducing the cost of their college educations. Simple things, such as living at home and commuting to a community college or public university, can shave thousands off the total cost. Plus, filling out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, which determines the student's eligibility for grants, scholarships and federally subsidized loans and the estimated family contribution toward college expenses, can ease the financial burden. Although your income and assets will factor into the equation if you've adopted your grandchildren, it's worth taking the time to apply, as your grandchildren may still be eligible for some financial aid.

Should your grandchildren need loans to pay for school, you can help reduce the burden without absorbing the full cost by covering the monthly payments for a few months after they graduate to give them time to get on their feet.

If your grandchildren have their hearts set on a private university and you can't afford to send them there without jeopardizing your retirement, be upfront with them about how much, if any, you can contribute, as well as what expenses they will be responsible for on their own. Once they calculate the true cost over four years, the sticker shock may persuade them to make more economical choices.

Seek support groups

Above all, it's important to remember that you're not in this alone. Many communities have support groups available for grandparents raising grandchildren, which provide everything from social activities to "been there, done that" advice.

"Caregivers often feel alone and isolated, not knowing where to turn, who to turn to, where to start," says de Toledo. "When they join a support group, they meet other families who've been in a similar situation and who can help them navigate the system to get the resources they need. They need to know that there's help out there, that they don't have to do this alone, and that their feelings of being on a roller coaster from day to day are perfectly normal."

This article was reported and written by Jennifer Maciejewski for Bankrate.com.

Published June 19, 2008

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