When my husband started a new job teaching at a local college this fall, I suggested that he might need some work clothes. Then I braced myself for a fight.
Pretty much anytime I suggest buying something, he protests. He hates spending money as much as I love it.
To my surprise, Mr. Frugal agreed that a couple of new shirts might be in order. And though I was tempted to go on a shopping spree, I bargain-hunted until I found two nice shirts for about $20 each.
After seven years of marriage, is it possible that what began as a bad money match -- between an Olympic-class spender and a guy who could carry the same $20 bill in his wallet for a year -- is actually evolving into something positive and profitable?
The answer is a tentative yes. That's what I've decided after reading a working paper called "Fatal (Fiscal) Attraction: Spendthrifts and Tightwads in Marriage" (.pdf file).
The study confirms that spenders really do marry nonspenders, and that this indeed causes marital conflict (um, yeah). Yet there could be hope in this puzzling attraction of financial opposites.
Why do we do this?
Let's start with the fundamental mystery: Why do spenders marry savers, and vice versa?This is tough to unravel. While there is a long and rich tradition of stories relating to love (Adam and Eve, Romeo and Juliet, Brad and Angelina), we know little of these couples' actual financial habits.
Things don't get much clearer in the halls of academia, where evidence shows that couples tend to be attracted to each others' similarities.
There's a clue in the old saying "Opposites attract," which tends to apply when you dislike a particular trait in yourself and thus are drawn to someone with the opposing tendency, outlook or habit.
More from MSN Money
In "Fatal (Fiscal) Attraction," they used three different surveys to examine whether people who deplore their own spending style tend to marry those with a contrasting spending style -- and whether this is a good thing.
The study found that:
- Most people say their ideal mate would be someone whose money style is similar to their own.
- Despite this preference, people tend to marry their financial opposite. The more conflicted people were about their own spending habits, the more they tended to choose partners with the opposing tendency.
- Those who do marry their financial opposite tend to experience more conflict and "diminished marital well-being."
Lead author Rick suggested that a mate who is unlike you -- financially or in some other way -- can fulfill a need "for distance from the undesired self."
Continued: What to do about it?
Rate this Article
High