Boycott the Valentine's Day madness

By MP Dunleavey

In the latest sign of our hard times, recent retail polls indicate Americans are going to spend less on Valentine's Day this year.

Say it ain't so.

In the middle of a soul-crushing recession, with dire economic news unleashed upon us every day, the bad news is that Americans are expected to shell out a mere $14.7 billion on romantic gifts this weekend.

I suppose we should be grateful. According to a January survey conducted by the National Retail Federation and BIGResearch, that figure represents a 13.5% decrease from V Day 2008, when people spent about $17 billion.

Stop me if I sound stupid, but why are we spending one red cent on this so-called holiday -- especially right now? Believe me, there are better ways to share the love and smarter ways to spend your money.

Materialism run amok

I have nothing against romance, love, sex, frilly red hearts or an excuse to eat chocolate (although I hate the sugary candies with dopey slogans like "Be Mine").

• Talk back: Time to boycott Valentine's Day?

The problem is that Valentine's Day, like many other American occasions, has grown from being a celebration that once aspired to some meaning, to being a trashy, materialistic extravaganza.

Think about how much pressure there is to participate:

• Every schoolchild, practically, is expected to make or send cards to their classmates or bring treats to class.

• Some single women feel so left out on Valentine's Day that they've been known to send flowers to themselves, so they won't look like losers.

• And don't assume couples are happier: For many, Valentine's Day is a yearly excuse to have a nasty fight, with partners feeling unloved . . . because they didn't get a stuffed bear or some candy. What?

I once had such a fight, eons ago, when a boyfriend gave me chopped liver for Valentine's Day. I happen to love chopped liver. It was, actually, a real treat.

But I couldn't get past the symbolism. The old saying kept running around in my head: "What am I, chopped livah?"

If he had spent five times as much on a cheesy negligee, I never would have worn the darn thing, I guarantee you. But I would have felt loved and adored.

It's equations like this that lead millions of consumers to spend $14.7 billion.

A short history of a dumb day

What makes this ritual even more puzzling is that Valentine's Day doesn't even have a good story (see: Christmas, Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July) or spooky ghosts and pumpkins. In fact, we don't even know the story.

Note this baffling summary on The History Channel's Web site: "But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery."

Exactly. Mysteriously, even though we know nothing about old St. Valentine, we all go around spending our hard-earned money to say "I love you."

Is it because Hallmark told us to? No, but perhaps you can blame it on retailers.

Basically, throughout the millennia, February was always a slow shopping month. Then, because a couple of early Christian martyrs (both named Valentine?) might have died for love, a holiday emerged.

I'm not making this up. I found the following stories on Wikipedia and in a U.S. Census Bureau release:

• A priest secretly married lovers in defiance of a Roman emperor's decree and supposedly was executed for it.

• Another man, as legend has it, was rejected by his mistress, and -- you'll like this -- he carved out his own heart and gave it to her. Yech.

Somehow, about 1,700 years later, we're stuck spending gobs of money on predetermined displays of "romance."

Continued: Holiday has a big price tag

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