New his-and-her banking

Epperson's advice does not change for couples in which only one spouse works; she says a stay-at-home mom, for example, should also maintain her own bank account, with a percentage of her husband's income funneled into it.

Says Epperson: "A stay-at-home mom who is not making any income should still have fun money," her term for individual accounts that go toward personal expenses. Similarly, if one spouse earns more than the other, equal sums should go into the individual accounts because they are based on household income, not each spouse's income, Epperson explains.

Blending different spending styles

When Kellie and Dan Mercurio, in their 20s, married in 2006, they knew they wanted to have at least one joint account so as not to deal with the question of who pays for dinner. But the Charlotte, N.C., couple also decided to keep separate accounts for personal expenses, such as a new jacket for him or manicures and haircuts for her.

"Having multiple accounts that serve different purposes is a good way to segment out record-keeping," Dan says.

• Talk back: Do you and your spouse keep separate accounts?

It also prevents disagreements over how to track spending, the couple says. Kellie, a manager at Wachovia, likes to keep a record of each purchase by saving receipts, while Dan, a financial sales manager at the bank, prefers to keep just a general sense of how much money is in his account.

Despite their separate accounting, the couple say they do not keep secrets from each other and generally talk about all of their purchases. "(Having individual accounts) just provides a little bit more freedom. If she wants to splurge on something, she can do it without asking me," Dan says.

Preserving financial independence

"Today people are mating and re-mating much further down the path," says Manisha Thakor, a co-author of "On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl's Guide to Personal Finance." "That's why the financial three-way is gaining more traction." The financial three-way is Thakor's term for having a shared account as well as individual accounts for each spouse.

A survey by TheNest.com, a Web site for newlyweds, found that 60% of respondents, mostly young married couples, planned to keep at least some personal spending accounts separate.

"Part of that partnership is recognizing each other's independence. It's a smarter way than throwing all of (your money) in one pot," says Riann Smith, the deputy editor of TheNest.com. "You aren't looking over each other's shoulder and saying, 'Why did you spend so much on those shoes or that golf weekend?'"

"Women find (having their own account) empowering," says Jean Chatzky, the author of "Make Money, Not Excuses," a personal-finance guide for women that advocates separate accounts. Since more women than ever earn their own money, she says, they want more control over how they spend it.

"You need to be able to get coffee without checking with your spouse," says Chatzky, which she says is easier to do when one has her own bank account.

Avoiding money secrets

Despite the enthusiasm among personal-finance advisers for such a system, marriage counselors often see separate funds as a harbinger of marital problems. "When people insist on keeping their own account, that speaks volumes about their feelings," says Jack Singer, a clinical psychologist in Laguna Hills, Calif. It often suggests a lack of trust about another aspect of the relationship, he adds.

Singer does, however, suggest setting aside money for certain costs, such as those related to children from previous marriages, in a separate fund. It might be easier, both logistically and psychologically, to pay those costs out of a separate account that's funded once a year instead of doling them out from joint accounts each month, he says.

Cotter worked with a lawyer on a prenuptial agreement, to lay out how her and her new husband's separate accounts will work. Says Cotter, "The lesson I've learned is whether I am single or whether I am married, I still need to take care of me and not expect anyone else to take care of me."

This article was reported and written by Kimberly Palmer for U.S. News & World Report.

Published Dec. 7, 2007

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