6 money mistakes newlyweds make

4. Dragging debt down the aisle

What's his is hers, and what's hers is his. Whether you decide to combine your finances or maintain separate accounts, if one of you brought debt into the marriage, it becomes a problem for both of you. You'll need to work together on a plan to pay it off. However, you should never officially commingle your debt. Doing so could hurt the credit scores of the other partner and make it difficult for one or both of you to get credit later. Keep existing credit card and loan accounts in the original holder's name.

• Your 5-minute guide to managing debt

If you can help it, it's best to avoid beginning your marriage in the red. Many newlyweds make the mistake of going too far into debt to pull off the wedding of their dreams, go on an exotic honeymoon or buy new furniture and appliances. Before you dig too deep a hole, you should sit down together to determine which expenses are necessary and which are worth a splurge -- and come up with a plan to pay for it all before you spend it.

5. Sweating the small stuff

Marriage is about compromises and simply letting some things slide. So she squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle, and he doesn't put his socks in the hamper. Big deal. You'll both soon learn to pick your battles and save your energy for issues that really matter.

That goes for picking your money battles, too. I remember my first financial argument with my husband. We had been married two weeks, and we were doing our grocery shopping together. He wanted to buy the brand-name chocolate chips, and I felt strongly that we should save 75 cents and go with the off-brand chips. After a lengthy and heated exchange, we divided up the rest of the shopping list so we wouldn't have to look at each other for the rest of our outing. Then we drove home in a huff. Lesson learned: Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry, tired and irritable. Oh, wait. Financial lesson learned: Don't sweat the small stuff. Was the argument really worth 75 cents? No way.

• The 12 biggest reasons we fight over finances

Of course, if all the little stuff is adding up to a big drain on your finances and causing you to live beyond your means, bring it up at your next money date and work together to find ways you can both cut back. (Ah, there's that compromise idea again.)

But take note: It's important that you build a little "mad money" into your budget for each person to spend at his or her own discretion. (Can you imagine asking your spouse for permission every time you wanted to buy a cappuccino and a muffin or grab a drink with some friends after work?) But as far as the big stuff goes, make it a rule to consult each other on major purchases. You don't want to come home and unexpectedly find a new Mercedes in the driveway -- and the bill that goes with it.

By the way, I now go grocery shopping alone. We decided as a couple it's what's best for our marriage.

6. Failing to plan for an emergency

No one likes to think about bad things happening, but in all the excitement of your engagement, planning your wedding and moving in together, it's easy to overlook this important aspect of financial planning. One of the best gifts you and your spouse can give each other is financial security and protection from life's storms.

• 9 ways to prepare for disaster

First, assess your emergency stash of cash. Every couple should have enough money available to cover from three to six months' worth of living expenses. You never know when the car will break down, one of you will lose a job or you'll have an unexpected medical bill. Need ideas? See MP Dunleavey's column "Why I'm saving up $15,000 this year." If that figure seems out of reach, start here: "Why you need $500 in the bank."

Then you need to make sure you have adequate insurance coverage, including health, auto, renters or homeowners insurance and possibly life insurance. Learn more about the types of insurance everyone should have and how to get the appropriate coverage.

Did you get married without a prenuptial agreement? It's not too late to protect the financial interests each partner brought to the marriage. Consider drafting a post-nup with your lawyers. Plus, make sure you each have written a will to divide your assets in the event of your death or your spouse's.

Published June 22, 2009

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